two hours sleep. quiet here is good. started another application. that's 3 of 5 now. another prof emailed last night saying she'd be happy to write my recommendations. cool.

feels like my body's starting to battle against me. eating was stupid this morning, nothing tasted like anything. lucky charms were okay though.

gonna edit this essay today, get information together for this prof, type up an old essay for her, then go home and force eat dinner. then applying to another place, printing off recommendation forms, and start trying to cater my statement of interest to specific places/programs. i reread my statement and actually felt kind of good about myself. i've been worried i'm not doing the right thing applying to grad school, but reading that and remembering that the profs i've shown it to have had very little bad to say or comment about it made me feel like it's the right thing. i have things to say about literature and to contribute and maybe my degree is stupid but it's my passion and maybe someday i can help people the same way the amazing profs i've had did for me, too. gay.

alright. time to get it done. two weeks left. crunch time.