one of my favourite rap covers. that's how you do that, the right way.

mrah, so tired. would like to get a full night sleep. had a good talk with my man last night and now i feel a hundred times better.

tomorrow is my last class as an undergrad, ever. sooo weird. yesterday it kind of hit me that i'm not going to be on campus after this month. being an adult is weeeiiirddd. i've been having to think of things like full time big girl jobs and health insurance. what even.

there are still about a thousand things i've got to do but i feel good and organized and less stressed about that. going to focus on work and exams for now. adfoiwnepfaisdnfon 40 days!

I am soooo tired. Last week of classes this week! between finishing up two final papers, picking up extra hours at work and house hunting, i am beat. my days consist of nonstop writing, working, and preparing everything for da move. so many things to think about. i didn't realize being an adult would be this complicated, but it's nice and refreshing to have things to do to prepare. that's what i'm good at.

have been tirelessly selling all the extra shit to get rid of baggage and things i don't need. have made over $500 on it all so far. pretty excited. got a couple more big items i want to sell before i'm gone, so just working on that now.

mrah i am tired.

[12-03-19 1:49:10 PM] Zoe K: uggh i'm so tired
[12-03-19 1:49:19 PM] Zoe K: my legs hurt from walking so much
[12-03-19 1:49:22 PM] A: sleep when you're dead
[12-03-19 1:49:33 PM] Zoe K: and then you see the house for like a minute and leave
[12-03-19 1:49:38 PM] Zoe K: i fee like..the amazing race
[12-03-19 1:49:43 PM] A: HAHAHAHA
[12-03-19 1:49:52 PM] A: except no million dollars
[12-03-19 1:49:54 PM] A: jsut a place to live
[12-03-19 1:49:59 PM] A: it's like the amazing race for homeless people
[12-03-19 1:50:06 PM] Zoe K: yeah i d'nt know if this is actually waht they do. I've never seen the show.
[12-03-19 1:50:06 PM] Zoe K: HAHAHA
[12-03-19 1:50:14 PM] Zoe K: they should do that next season
[12-03-19 1:50:21 PM] A: HAHAHAHAHA
[12-03-19 1:50:23 PM] A: homeless edition
[12-03-19 1:50:26 PM] A: amazing
[12-03-19 1:50:31 PM] A: like they should just allow homeless people to play all game shows
[12-03-19 1:50:40 PM] Zoe K: HAHAHAHA
[12-03-19 1:50:42 PM] A: it would be way more exciting because they ahve so much on the line
[12-03-19 1:50:42 PM] Zoe K: OMG
[12-03-19 1:50:49 PM] Zoe K: I'M PICTURING IT RIGHT NOW AND IT'S AMAZING
[12-03-19 1:50:55 PM] A: HAHAHAHA RIGHT?!
[12-03-19 1:50:57 PM] A: WE ARE PITCHING THIS
[12-03-19 1:51:10 PM] Zoe K: and if they say no
[12-03-19 1:51:12 PM] Zoe K: LETTER WRITING CAMPAIGN FOR LYFE

yesterday my entire family went out to the new frozen yogurt place in town. it was fun, and nice to be all together. my sister got some bad news and got screamed at on the phone by some guy she's paying to take care of her horses. she came home in tears because she was so angry and outraged and i felt sooo terrible. i hate seeing my little sister like that.

it was so beautiful and sunny yesterday that i thought for sure today i could take my laptop into the backyard and work outside all day, but as luck would have it, it's overcast and foggy out D: great

only two more weeks of class! over next two days i have to edit my modernism essay and write 1,000 words on my psych one. blegh. might just make it a long night tonight and try to get it all done in one go. i'm sure there has to be terrible tv movies on that i can watch.

st patty's day is gonna be amateur hour. kind of glad i have to stay home. gonna go load up on snacks and then get down to business. but first, need to take a bath to relax and get my head in the right place to do all this weeerk

woke up to thunder so loud it was shaking my house. yay ontario!

A: what's up
Z: oh just working on some school stuff
A:sounds fascinating
Z: oh it is
A: hahahahaha
i don't believe you
I BELIEVE IN NOTHING
Z: hahaha
A: I'M A DISENCHANTED ENGLISH GRADUATE
i wonder how long that will be funny for
Z: EVERYTHING IS A LIE
A: probably until i graduate
then the joke becomes my life
Z: hahaha
and it becomes a real thing
hahahaha

pay a copious amount for a termly parking pass. drive to class. circle around the entire campus. all parking lots that you know of are completely full with campus police waving you along. scream silently in your own head. turn around and go home.

THANKS UW OPEN HOUSE YOU BUNCH OF FUCKING IDIOTS, YOU MADE ME MISS A CLASS I PAID FOR BECAUSE I COULDN'T GET A PARKING SPOT I ALSO PAID FOR BECAUSE YOU'RE MORE INTERESTED IN PARKING MOMS AND SNOT NOSED HIGH SCHOOLERS TO RUN AROUND THE CAMPUS FOR A DAY.

holy shit priorities.

Amanda: omg why is my room so HOT
why are my thoughts so DISJOINTED

Zoe: let's trade. Mine is freezing.
and that pizza pocket i had was..not great.
maybe it was because i ate it out of a bowl

Amanda: i remember when every day after high school
i would come home and eat a pizza pocket
grossest years of my life

Zoe: hahahahahahaha

Amanda: but i would eat it with a knife and fork to feel fancier
while watching mtv cribs

almost finished one essay. debating whether i should just take the rest of the night off and treat myself. i think i will, i've done nothing but work all weekend.

met up with zoe today. soooo nice catching up with her. we're both going our separate ways next year but she's definitely one of those forever friends that i'm always going to stay in contact with. i've never met a single person that i could so completely be myself with and share all my crazy thoughts and have them completely returned and accepted so warmly. i'm pretty sure anyone else would think i should be institutionalized if they ever heard our conversations. we get each other.

i want to take up needlepoint when i finish my exams sooo badly. that's going to be my next crafty project. i want to make pillow covers and also just framed works. i've already thought up a few hilarious ones to make for friends.

hope won reserve champion at her horse show today, she rules.

sent out resumes to six different publishing houses today inquiring about internships. fingers crossed something comes of it. it'd be really nice to get into the publishing industry, i'm pretty interested in it. would love to learn more, and this is basically the best way to start out. gotta get some pictures together of my handmade cards to send to a scrapbooking magazine that i wouldn't mind working at either. i'm a 40 year old mom stuck in a 21 year old girl's body, what is wrong with me.

weather is fucking gorgeous and it is seriously boosting my mood. i never realize how bad winter gets me down until the sun comes up for 2 days in a row. hope it stays and we don't get too much rain.

i wanna sleep for a whole week. that would be sooo nice. i also desperately want for classes to be over so i can have the time to thoroughly clean up this room. it's getting disgusting and i hate working in all this clutter. my desk is awful.

started a list of things i need to sell in april. it's pretty substantial. i have collected a TON of shit over the years and now it does nothing but gather dust and take up space in my life. i just want to completely downsize and start fresh, that would feel nice.

so busy. only THREE MORE WEEKS left of undergrad classes. only three more essays left to write as an undergrad. only three more exams to take as an undergrad.

super busy. writing papers on love & religion in four of Greville's poems, how world war 1 altered the sense of sight in the modernist literature of James Joyce and Virginia Woolf, and one other I haven't decided about yet for psychology. something brilliant i'm sure.

also i hate myself for liking these songs but i just really do ok









and that's your dose of real culture and pop culture for the day! got a good offer for graduate studies at UW, going to accept and defer for a year. got sum plans to take a year off for myself and head out west. awee yah

i'm pretty bummed out and overloaded with work. death march. only one more month and i'm home free.

i'm really busy and everyone's really busy. i just want a hug or a call from my boy. hanging out with my mom and helping her pick out yarn today was nice. hope comes home on friday and i'm stoked to sit on the couch writing papers all weekend and watching movies with her.

i'm just like... 85% burnt out and working my way up to a full 100. i am ready for my undergrad to be done with. i am ready to be finished spending literally weeks writing a paper to have it returned and feel disappointed no matter the mark. i just don't have any ideas anymore and i'm tired of regurgitating someone else's. i want to be reading the books i want to read, and writing, creatively, not academically. i want to be in a new setting and have people i like around me, not the majority of these people here i absolutely despise. and i realize i'll probably dislike people wherever i go, but there are some pretty great people where i want to be headed.